I’ve always struggled with trying to figure out what God wants me to do in certain situations. I’m not talking about the little stuff. I can usually discern right from wrong and do the right thing (or do the wrong thing and know I am messing up). But it’s the big stuff that trips me up…the major, life-changing decisions. I pray and I ponder and I ask for signs, but I almost never feel certain that I am making the right moves when it comes to the really big stuff. I usually get lazy and just resign to thinking, Well, if God wants ___________ to happen in my life, it will be so.
There is something I have felt called to do for some time now, for many years, in fact. I’ve always been wishy-washy about it, going back and forth about whether or not it’s something I would actually consider outside of the dreamy, idealistic corners of my brain.
Until recently, I never answered the call.
A few weeks ago, I was presented with an opportunity to do so. Someone approached me with a possibility and it felt like a “God moment.” You know that feeling when you just KNOW this is what you’re supposed to do? I do have those occasionally.
I brought the idea home to my husband, expecting him to shoot it down. Instead, he said yes, let’s do it almost instantly. He, too, felt like God was calling us to move forward. I spent that evening thinking and worrying about the impact this call would have on our lives, but by the next morning, I was completely at peace with our decision.
I answered the call. I said yes. YES!
Then, nothing happened. The opportunity was gone. I had said yes and God said, nevermind. I allowed myself to feel disappointed for a few moments and then I let it go. God had spoken and He knows what He’s doing.
I wondered for a bit, why in the world would He call me (and I would be SO sure about it) and then change His mind? For a minute, I was starting to think I might be getting better at figuring out His plans for my life…but maybe not. And then I started to think, maybe He was just looking for the YES. Maybe He’s preparing my heart for what’s to come…
I don’t think that He’s done with me yet. The call feels almost stronger now…and closer.
How do you know when God is calling you to something? Is it easy to say yes?